It's easy to get caught up in the activities of preparation, but I will also pause to prepare my heart and spirit. This is the night of our dear savior's birth. It's a special time. It is a time of renewal.
My youngest daughter is at odds with me right now and has uninvited herself to our Christmas day dinner and tree sharing. She was unreasonable and I wanted to strike back emotionally, but I paused and then caught myself. She made me very angry. I had helped her all week by taking care of my grandson even though I have recently sprained my ankle and am not up to my best activity level. I enjoyed my time with him and I believe he had a very good time with Nana and Papa.
On the last morning when his mother was to be picking him up which was Friday, he asked to go see the ducks at our local park. We also wanted to go to the doughnut bakery afterwards and get a doughnut and hot chocolate. I called my daughter and told her our plans and she thought it sounded fun for him. She told me she would be by in about an hour.
Just as we were heading towards the doughnut shop, she called and wanted to pick him up right then. We invited her to have a doughnut with us, but she refused. I asked her to meet us at the doughnut shop but she refused. I had made a promise to my grandson which I didn't want to break. He is two and a half and broken promises are hard to take plus I want him to know he can count on Nana being true to her word.
So I took him to get his doughnut. My daughter was outraged and angrily told me she would not be coming to my house on Christmas. I did what I thought was right. I knew it would not take long to get a doughnut for my grandson and I was fulfilling my promise to him. I put myself at odds with my daughter though. It was a tough choice to make, but I remember as a child when an adult I loved made a promise and never kept it. It hurts. I want to avoid that with my grandchildren.
I finished wrapping presents about 2:30AM. At first I thought I would only wrap presents for the family members I knew were coming and then go to bed sooner. Once I got started, I was thinking about Christmas without my grandchildren and it made me sad. I decided to take a step of faith and I went ahead and wrapped everyone's presents and took them all to the tree and placed each one under the twinkling lights. At 2:30 I sat down and pulled out my phone and started writing a text message.
I wrote, erased, stopped, wrote erased, rewrote and around 3:30 finally had a simple message. It was a message from which I had stripped all the explanations and self-defense, and blame. I simply said, "we are having lunch at 12:30. I love you and your children. The fifteen minutes I asked for on Friday was not for me but was to keep a promise I had made to your son that I didn't want to break."
UPDATE: The first person who knocked on my door on Christmas day was my daughter. I was surprised and thankful. We had the best family Christmas we have had in a very long time.
The lesson I am learning to put in practice is "When in doubt, walk in love. When you are hurting, walk in love. When you are angry, walk in love. When you don't know what to do, walk in love."
"We love, because he first loved us." - I John 4:19
I wrote, erased, stopped, wrote erased, rewrote and around 3:30 finally had a simple message. It was a message from which I had stripped all the explanations and self-defense, and blame. I simply said, "we are having lunch at 12:30. I love you and your children. The fifteen minutes I asked for on Friday was not for me but was to keep a promise I had made to your son that I didn't want to break."
UPDATE: The first person who knocked on my door on Christmas day was my daughter. I was surprised and thankful. We had the best family Christmas we have had in a very long time.
The lesson I am learning to put in practice is "When in doubt, walk in love. When you are hurting, walk in love. When you are angry, walk in love. When you don't know what to do, walk in love."
"We love, because he first loved us." - I John 4:19
